Strip Club Etiquette
There are many guy's that patronize strip clubs here in the United States. So most of us know the basics when it comes to strip club etiquette. Always be respectful to the waiters, bouncers, and especially the dancers. In my latest blog post I will discus 7 things not to do in a strip club. For the sophisticated brawny man. It's mind boggling that I even have to write this post at all. But unfortunately. These things really have happened. And will definitely get you bounced out on your ass. Or worse could happen.
Now I am not a frequent flyer to Gentlemen's Clubs. However I have occasionally gone with a guy friend or group of guy's to the local Titty bar. It's almost always after we have been out drinking and getting tanked. Finishing up getting plowed in a bar filled with naked women. Hey's its fun and its something to do. Right? Yep! LOL. Here in Kansas City, Missouri there are only a few strip clubs. So these tips I hope will help the big city guy's and the country boy's here also. But this is general information. Not specific. Be aware this list is for your benefit. Please read carefully. So you do not have to experience a vicious beating, and being publicly embarrassed.
So let's get started with the, "What not to do list!"
Gentlemen's Club Rules
1. Do not drink to much and get retarded while in the strip club.
So I hope this first piece of advice goes without saying. But there are knuckleheads, that will venture into the clubs. And began drinking shot after shot eventually getting himself so retarded. He ends up puking all over a girl giving the poor schmuck a lap dance or blow job! (Depends on which club you go to on that last line) That's a (FAIL). This for sure will get you bounced out and physically removed from the club. And if your really lucky. You may even receive a nice gift from the door men. And that's a angry ass whoopin! Moving on! But if you are one of those guy's that is fucked up in the head. And you want an ass whooping. Im sure someone in the MMA will gladly give it to you. Here in Kanas City at Gracie Academy the instructors would be happy to choke your stupid ass out!
2. Do not under any circumstances Touch, Grope, or Molest the girls.
This is another "I can't believe I have to say this moment!" But I have spoken to many strippers and friends that have worked in the clubs. And they make it clear this shit happens all the time. And it's highly disrespectful to the girls. So what usually happens. Is the girls will tell the man. "Do not Touch Baby! Ok?" As a warning. But if the fucker keeps it up and is an asshole. Your probably going to get a intimidating & scary warning. From a large muscular man in a suit named "Tyrone the Bouncer!" So if you happen to touch or molest the girls a 2nd time. There is no if and's or but's. I bullshit you not! "You will most certainly get knocked the fuck out!" And bounced to the street. I have seen this happen in person and it doesn't look like fun. "LOL"
3. Do not use drugs inside the strip club.
Ok I am not even joking about this next tip. This is what I have seen personally. But this shit happens all the time! Especially with the inner city thugs. These wanna be rappers come in to the joint. Flash a small green wad of small bills. Acting like big baller's. Talking about..! "Im gonna make it rain in here!" While Im over in the corner. Saying to myself. "Im like Bitch Please!!" You just stole your moma's hooptie and sold it for fast cash. I fucking kid you not! These dudes come in sit down, and began smoking a blunt. Now I don't have anything against sitting down and burning through a joint. Strictly for pleasure. "But really man?" Others don't want to smell that low grade skunk. Anyway's it always ends bad for these clowns. They are always told to leave quickly. Or get stomped on the way to the street. Just so you know. Bouncer's are usually looking for a fight and want to show how tough they are. Or sometimes its just because they want some excitement. Just an observation.
Mens Entertainment Tips for nudy bars
Check this funny video out! Nerds Go To Strip Club For The First Time!
4. Do not try to get the stripper to go out with you.
This tip is very opinionated. But I hear so many guys actually say they have tried to pick up a stripper. Be honest here gent's. Do you really want a girl thats taking her clothes off, and selling you the fantasy of sex? As your woman? Anyway's, I know some Marines I served with back in the day. That used to date strippers. But their fucking personal lives. Were train wrecks with all the drama to go with it. "Jesus!!" Moving on to my point here. You have to realize she is trying to get as much money from men as she can. And she does it for a living!
So getting back on topic. If you try and pick up a stripper. And attempt to run game on her. And she seems to love it and you! You need to ask yourself. One question here. Who's running the game here? You or Her? If you can't definitively answer this. Then you are the sucker. And dismiss the dancer. I think you get my drift. But if your not catching my drift. Here is some dating self help coaching in the link provided. Deanna Loraine Because you will need some game!
5. Do not use your smartphone inside the strip club.
This tip is one that will surely be valuable to guy's. But if you do take it in. And begin snapping photo's. Your going to get thrown out and stomped. And surely you will need a new smartphone after the encounter. Ok moving on. I ask you to think about logic in this. Strip clubs are dark inside by nature. So you can focus on the stage. And so it's a kind of risqué or intimate setting to make the girls feel they are in the spot light. Although privacy is at a minumum. You have to consider this. There are other gentlemen in the strip club that do not want to be accidentally photographed or videoed. And shared on your Facebook feed. And seen on youtube by someone they know. Because, I'm sure their not supposed to be there! So please keep the smartphone in your pocket fella's. But if you happen to bust it while getting thrown out and receiving a attitude adjustment. This is the GUY that can take care of you. And fix it in minutes.
6. Do not let your guard down in the strip club!
If you get too comfortable and are not vigilant inside a strip club. You will get taken for every penny you have. Usually by some foxy ass young woman that is completely naked. Believe me. I have seen these girls work. And from a hustler stand point. It's really fucking impressive. They just basically hone in on you. Ask you to hire them and take you to the VIP room. And they basically get your attention and focus. Then let the liquor do it's magic. Yes you will get some alone time with her. But staring at shaved pussy up close. Is entertaining for men. But after they finish their lap dance on you. She will guide you to another hustle. You will begin talking and bam. It's called the therapists trap. She will tell you how good of a man you are. Listen to your marriage problems and all that. But she's secretly baiting you. So if you agree to meet her on the outside of the strip club. She will meet you. And then will pull on your heart strings and sing you a sad story. To make you part ways with your life savings. So please just be careful. These women know their shit. And could talk Noah out building the Ark! Now Im sure their are honest strippers out here. That don't have the intentions to ruin you financially. But better be safe than broke. Right? Just some food for thought!
7. Do not ever solicit a stripper for sex!
This tip should be self explanatory. However there are horny guy's, that try this all the time. So if you do want to hire a girl for sex I have provided a link for you. You will need to go visit. Kansas City Escorts. Here- "I love hookers!"
Moving on... I have seen stupid guy's. Falling for the honey trap. Time in time again. To help you better understand this technique. I will tell you a story. I have an acquaintance. That is a stripper and part time prostitute. She has told me some funny and crazy stories about her profession. And especially about this method of wealth acquisition. Basically you end up in a strip club. And your enjoying yourself not even thinking about whats happening. But the girls are almost always teaming up and working together. They target you. Why? Because you seem to be spending lots of cash. And that's their cue.
After they meet you. They will begin their spew. They give you their info. And ask you if you want to party sometime with them? So after they have baited the hook. It's time to reel in the catch. Your getting a lap dance by this hot girl in the club. She is all over you. And she is feeling that your dick has gotten hard. So she turns on the charm and asks you if you want a refill on your drink. As she talks with the waitress. You don't even notice the code words. (The waitress is probably working with the stripper.) Waitress comes back. Brings you another drink. You guzzle it down. Without a giving it a second thought. Your dancer is on your lap giving you some private attention. And you start to believe. She is down with taking this up a notch. You ask her. Are you give the full service privately? .AK.A. SEX- And she says yes to the offer.
But! She will end up getting the last laugh! Because you just woke up the next day. With all your credit cards stolen, bank accounts empty, phone gone and valuables vanished. With a horrible headache, butt naked on the nasty floor in a shitty motel. With a dildo shoved up your ass!
Where you went wrong!
See your waitress that was serving you drinks. Just spiked your drinks with something to make you black out. Have amnesia and make you oblivious to anything normal. And now your financially ruined. But I'm sure your wife will understand right? Stay safe friends. And never stop being vigilant.
Strip Club's in midwest.
So If you decide your ready for a night out at a strip club. And you happen to be in Kansas City, Mo. I hope you heed my warnings. And I will provide you with a list of local strip clubs you can visit.
That ends my blog post for tonight.
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I have more blog articles coming soon. And a new webcast called Coffee With Joe so watch for this in the near future.